Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

Raising Children


Today is Indonesian Mother Day and it motivated me to write about the role of a mother. Anyhow, this post may never cover all things mothers do for her children. It's just a little thing that pops up my mind a lot recently: an enormous effort to raise children in their early age.

Have you seriously done babysitting for, let's just say, one full day?  I haven't. I meet a toddler almost everyday in my house but I only get a few hours to take care of her. Within the short span of time, this babysitting activities often exhaust me to death. Equipped-with-developmental-theories-me still feel lost when it comes to practical reality.

That's why when girls, who still whines all the time about her boyfriend or her busy schedule, say that they can't wait to have baby, I guess she never deals with a baby for real. Don't get me wrong, I like children and I want  to be a good mother. I just don't think that having children can be decided hastily. It's not enough to be ready, but you have to be strong physically, emotionally, and financially. It's not a vacation, it's a lifetime duty.

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PsyPal

This morning I got a text from Anita -- the one I usually call Induk. It's a farewell message saying that she's heading to Jakarta. She has been working in Jakarta as personal assistant for a professor. So, it's normal for her to travel Jakarta-Jogja back and forth. But this time is different. She has made a decision to fully concentrate in Jakarta. Therefore, she didn't extend her room rent in Jogja.

However, besides the feeling of losing the presence of a close friend, there's also a milestone of a new journey here. I realize that a life chapter (surviving in real world) is about to begin. There will be no college wall to protect us from the jungle out there. We have to face it, we ought to live it, whether we like it or not.

Now the storyline is in the hand of each one of us. I'll miss the old times we spent together, sharing and enjoying stories. We might not be able to see each other as frequent as we used to do, but the memories of us will always remain.

So, I'm gonna write about them as a memoir of our precious fellowship...

The fellowship to have outing and witty discussion :
Me, Willy, Anita, Heri, Nitya, Zadok, Sekar
The last time we got a chance to gather was for an event called Gratitude Night in which Induk won an award for The Most Intelligent-Looking College Girl. No surprise, she's the fastest graduate with the highest GPA among all of 2008 scholars (2008 is the year of our enrollment). She's a representation of unbeatable fun girl. She has everything you need to succeed: leadership, passion, hard working nature, critical thinking, social skill, sense of humor, independence, and strong character. That's how she got her nickname, Induk (mother). She manages everything in the right way. Compared to her, we're just a bunch of kids that need to be taken care of.


The award for The Most Intelligent-Looking College Boy that night went to Zadok. Yep, he's a hard thinker -- a philosopher maybe. He is Mr. Popular Guy, everyone loves him because he treats each person in special manner. We even create an imaginary fans club, referring to a group of people who adore him. Haha. After his graduation last May, he got many offers to assist lectures in our faculty. But, he has chosen his way to follow Induk's track to work in Jakarta. Good luck for both of them.

Willy and Sekar has extraordinary brains. They have high IQ score that is considered genius. Maybe that's why they are always being critical to anything. They are the last people you want to have debate with. It's almost impossible to keep them shut. Hahaha. Willy is the oldest and Sekar is the magnae -- together with Heri, they were born in the same year. The three of them make a group of bipolar people. Strong yet unstable. Sometimes they can be deeply absorbed in their inner-self and detach themselves from the outer world (sounds creepy indeed). The other times they can be the most playful people. But they are definitely good friends once you get to know them closer.

Nitya is the most easy going and sociable person. She might be a little different from the rest of us who always be so academic-oriented. With her free spirit, she would rather go with the flow, enjoying organization life as much as she can. She might be the one with the most field experience among us.

I cherish each one of them. I'm so grateful that I have a chance to be a part of them. My life has been so colorful and meaningful, thanks for your company through this 4 incredible college years.

All-Thing-Company
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Haunted

Hari ini di gereja...
Romo: "Para ketua lingkungan harap segera mengumpulkan data sensus karena akan diserahkan pada keuskupan, kemudian dikirimkan ke tahta suci. Data ini akan digunakan Vatikan untuk mengeluarkan statistik umat Katolik sedunia."

Hal pertama yang terlintas di kepala saya: "Wah, pasti ngolahnya pake SPSS."

OMG, I've been haunted by statistics... >w<
I've never been so interested in numbers. Well, I AM STIILL NOT.
Tapi salah satu syarat kelulusan di kampus telah menjerumuskan saya ke lembah statistika.

So, there I was, looking for a nice way to study statistics
and I found this alluring books...

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Mirip = Jodoh?

It is a common belief that a couple who look alike are soulmates. But, wait a sec, I found a different explanation about this in Aronson's book.

You see, people tend to like someone who has something in common with themselves. That's why primordialism, racism, and any form of in-group favoritism are still relevant topics even until now. Apparently, when it comes to physical appeareance, this favoritism is also likely to happen.


You ask what's the evidence?
A study had been conducted in order to check this phenomenon. A group of people were asked to choose pictures in which there were faces of persons from the opposite sex. They were told to pick out the faces they liked the best (and maybe would like to go on a date with). Actually, one of the pictures was a modification of their own faces, how it might look in different sex. Yeah, the result shows that people are highly interested in their own picture.

*oh, narcissism...

So, if you meet people who said you look like your romantic partner, don't rush into conclusion that you guys are match made in heaven. Look-alike may not because you are soulmates, try the other way around... maybe you choose him/her to be your soulmate because you both look alike.

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Developmental Thingy

Robert Havighurst got negative sentiment from my friends for his Developmental Task Model. Here is the most controversial (and sensitive) part of Havighurst's (1972) theory for them...

In ages of 18-30, people needs to complete these developmental tasks:
  • Achieving new and more mature relations with age mates of both sexes.
  • Achieving a masculine or feminine social role. 
  • Accepting one’s physique and using the body effectively. 
  • Achieving emotional independence of parents and other adults. 
  • Preparing for marriage and family life. 
  • Acquiring a set of values and an ethical system as a guide to behavior. 
  • Desiring and achieving socially responsible behavior.
  • Selecting an occupation.
(why don't you mention "completing thesis" anyway??)

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Goodbye UP

One and a half year have passed since I started to work at Unit Publikasi Fakultas Psikologi UGM. It's a unit founded under faculty (but financially independent until 2011) which publishes journal and bulletin. The editor in chief is a handsome professor that I adore. Well, that's one of the reasons why I join this unit. Kekeke.


I was recruited as assistant there with someone who happens to be my close friend. Our duty basically consists of processes to turn any incoming articles into a journal or bulletin. FYI, journal is based on research, while bulletin may contain opinions or insights from its writers. Each article should be reviewed and approved by professional experts that we call mitra bestari. It consists of doctors and professors inside and outside Faculty of Psychology Gadjah Mada University.

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