I've never been married so I don't know how it feels. I just have a decent hope about it. But again, I found cues that cause my fairytale image of marriage fallen apart and crushed to pieces.
In high school a friend of mine told me that marriage is just a formality. It's useful only to bear legal children. I thought it's an obscure thinking as a result of bad experience.
During college years, I met a girl who said that she would marry only to meet social expectation. It doesn't matter to live separately with her husband after that. She wants to raise a child in accordance to her idealism but she doesn't want anything to do with a husband. I thought it's because she never really fall in love.
But, some family movies/dramas, e.g. "Why Did I Get Married?", "Salaam Namaste", "Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna", "Ohlala Spouses", etc. give me a real dark view about marriage. Love ends after the vow, or it may not end but divided with the other party, what if you meet your soulmate after you get married? Yea, the snowball keeps on spinning. There will be a lot more problems that turn marriage into some kind of trap.
We might argue that the filmmakers just dramatize the conflict. But how can we explain the divorces we see everyday in real life?
Just now a public figure bluntly talked in national television that the reason of his divorce was because of boredom. Well, he didn't exactly said the word "bored". He used some parables, i.e.:
- The fun part about fishing is the process of catching the fish. After you caught it, it's no longer interesting.
- Imagine a car you just bought 3 days ago involved in an accident. It feels more terrible than that of a car you've owned for 3 years.
Gosh! So, this is the real thought of a real married man. They are pop-seeking being, an adventurous creature. Relationship for them is just like a soda, after it loses its fizz, they wouldn't like it anymore. It's as if love has its own expiration date, it won't last forever. Here's some additional data: a song with strong lyrics that sums it all up.
Well, just so you know, I'm not trying to discredit guys per se, neither did I write this because I'm having a fight with my boyfriend. This sinister mind emerges after I watched an interview of whom I used to respect for being a family guy, but then came up with bad excuse for his separation. It confirms my fear that the sweetness of relationship would turn upside down after it steps on the stage of marriage.
I think every woman should anticipate this "unwanted event" by having her own life and cherishing herself. Being independent, but also caring, will keep your world through whatever comes your way.
